Tonight I wanted to talk about pain. Not my own but the pain experienced by a friend.

There are some situations in life where we must stand aside, out of love for our friend, and let them walk where they will through the issues confronting them. With respect for their independent life choices,   we refrain from hindering their progress. With trust in their integrity we allow them space to walk freely according to their own code of honour. With understanding of the soul nature and forebearance with the frailties of personality we honour the whole person who is our friend. Finally, when the opportunity arises to assist we do so with a loving heart and helping hands. This is my understanding of the ancient wisdom.
Only it is not easy to see a friend suffer pain, not easy to resist the strong call to relieve them of it. Yet if we do so, not only do we steal their opportunity for growth, but we guarantee the lesson will return to them again in another guise and the responsibility for that occurrence would rightly be laid at our door.

 “The three foundations of friendship: respect and trust, understanding and 

forbearance, a loving heart and helping hands.”  

An Irish Triad

Drawing from Life contd:

Rhona and Gracie arrived in Kerikeri late on Good Friday afternoon. As they drove in the motel car park Justin strode out of the office to greet them. He looked even more debonair in person than he had appeared on the screen. Opening her car door for her he said “Ah Rhona there you are, and Gracie, welcome. Just leave your bags a moment. We will get together in the dining room first. You can meet everyone there.” His manner suggested he had known them all his life and Rhona felt some of her anxiety lift as she shook hands with him.

Another car pulled up in the space next to hers. “Ah here’s my other model,” Justin went to meet the driver and brought a tall man over to be introduced to them.

“Rhona meet Joe Davis. Joe this is Rhona Manners.” He glanced toward the office. “Will you excuse me? I’ll see you in the dining room,”

Rhona shook hands with her new associate. Joe was a dark haired, broad shouldered man. His narrow hipped figure was accentuated by slim fitting black jeans and a grey T shirt. Rhona guessed he was not much over forty, yet his bearing suggested the composure of an older man. As she met his glance she realised, from the light in his dark brown eyes, that he had a keen intelligence and ready sense of humour. She was taken with the way his full facial tattoo enhanced the fine bone structure of his face. Her fingers itched to trace the beautiful spirals and whorls tracking across his cheekbone to the bridge of his aquiline nose. She decided he must be used to such admiration. He was a model after all.

She turned a little to include Gracie. “Joe I’d like you to meet Gracie Manners.” Blushing to the roots of her hair, Gracie shook his hand. She started to say “I’ve…” but she had to swallow and start again. Rhona watched Joe hide his smile and wait graciously for the girl to find her voice. Gracie’s reaction surprised her. She hadn’t thought of her daughter as shy.

“I’ve seen you on TV haven’t I?” Gracie managed to get it all out that time. A little “oh” escaped from Rhona when she realised why her daughter was so discomposed. Joe showed more of his even teeth. “You probably have. I do commercials and a few parts in local productions.  I’m not very experienced at modeling yet so I’m looking forward to this weekend. How about you?”

Gracie giggled, still blushing and looked over at her mother. “I’m looking forward to it but I’m not the model, Mum is. I’ve just come to watch.”

“I wouldn’t know about that Gracie. You both look like models to me.”

The ladies were saved from having to answer that compliment. Anna came out to say hello and asked if Gracie could be spared to help her. They went off arm in arm, brown-haired heads together like confederates with confidences to share. Rhona and Joe watched them go. She took his arm as they began to walk across to the dining room  “Be warned Joe I’m the camp novice.”

“True?” She saw he wasn’t having much success hiding his amusement. “That’ll be what Justin meant when he said you were undiscovered talent.”

“Ha” Rhona hooted with delight. “What a euphemism.” The sound made several others look their way. About twenty people were standing about in little knots of three or four. They were just outside the dining room door.

A short blond man appeared at the door and asked them all to come inside.  Joe smiled at her as he reached over to hold the door open, “My money’s on the boss, Rhona. I have a feeling he knows his business.” When she looked up at him he took advantage of the eye contact to say “Tell me, do you always take a fellow’s arm when you first meet him?” Rhona gasped and her eyes widened.  “Oh I’m so sorry. I never thought…”

“No I guessed that. I heard you were out of the ordinary.”

Her eyes widened still further, with laughter this time. “What a worry.” Blushing, she looked away from him and caught the signal as Justin gestured to Joe. 

She had seen Justin assessing them together from the other side of the room. She guessed it was his first opportunity to see his “new talent” side by side and he seemed pleased with the effective contrast between them. As Joe walked away Rhona watched the way he moved, so centered and easy in his body. Perhaps it was just that broad shouldered men naturally walked like athletes.

Rhona was amused by the youth camp atmosphere at the motel that first night. Everyone ate together and Justin circulated the tables, shamelessly using a combination of humour and practised charisma to ensure that everyone felt crucial to the success of the weekend. She recognised and appreciated his manner as an effective management style, but also detected an evangelical commitment to his industry. He took his role as leader and mentor seriously. She wondered what his private persona was like – still serene and focused, as Charlie had suggested, or volatile and expressive?

Across at the next table from Rhona the photographer, Mickey, was holding court to an audience of three over groomed young women. He was an Australian aged about thirty with short spiky blond hair. Both his ears held a collection of three or more sleepers and studs of various sorts. He was short and slightly built, but well aware of his boyish charm and the devastating effect of his smile. While Rhona had liked his witty conversation when she met him, his blue eyes had made her feel uneasy. They seemed assessing somehow.

At her own table all three ladies present were made completely at ease by Joe’s comfortable manner. Rhona noticed the way he encouraged Gracie to talk about herself and her interests. He had an obvious rapport with young people but she wondered if he was also keeping control of the dinner conversation that way. He discovered far more about each of them than he revealed about himself. At the same time she instinctively trusted the relaxed feeling she had sitting beside him and decided the omens were good for their work together.