Moving Waters

my thanks to B.McK.I.J for this view of Fairy Falls

Last weekend I had an opportunity to visit a powerful  place. Called Fairy Falls, this cataract is in the Waitakere Ranges - a healing lung of native forest only thirty minutes from the centre of Auckland city.  We are in drought right now, with high fire risk, yet an abundant stream flows constantly in this place - filling the air around with moisture and a clear cadence of liquid sound.

It was the day before full moon and I made the journey with a heart-held one. An auspicious trip.

In esoteric terms the element of water relates to the astral world of the emotional life - that field of great expression but also of significant challenge.

At the upper pool I was reminded of the story of the Well of Segais from which five streams run. Those streams represent the wisdom we gather from our five senses - all flowing from the One Source, the well of Life itself. 

The challenge is to live an aware life, so that we can clearly hear, sense and perceive the guidance that comes to us in this way.

Easy enough in such an enchanted place of beauty- but more difficult at home or at work in the regular run of our days.

There at the Falls the waters are constantly refreshing themselves- and with that renewal a Triad is eternally offered : 

May you be present in the moving waters of being within and without; 

May you live fully, employing all your senses to perceive Life;

Come drink freely from the nurturing chalice of  Love.

All is One.

Drawing from Life Chapter 16

Bill got himself out early to catch the first Saturday morning ferry back to Waiheke. He walked from Philip’s place with his hands buried in the pockets of his long wool coat. Along Tamaki Drive and Quay Street he passed, enjoying the crisp air and the slanting light of winter morning sun across the city foreshore. Finally he joined the growing queue on the wharf.

 A dozen or more college aged girls in excursion mood were grouped a little way in front of him. All were kitted out in matching blue tracksuits, most of them in full makeup. They were talking and laughing self consciously - “Ohmigodding” each other while scanning the growing crowd for appreciative glances.

When the gangway went down Bill noticed the girls being shepherded into a more cohesive group by two women. One of them was like Rhona. His stomach turned over. The hair was similar, that’s all, he thought.

Shuffling  up with the rest, keeping his eyes away from the boat, he focused over and above the crowd. Another track-suited girl came tearing past him - “Sorry, ‘scuse me.” She shoved in front of him saying “Sorry Mrs Manners I was in the loo, I’m really sorry”.

It was Rhona, standing on the second step to the top deck to give her a better height. He could hear her speaking: “That’s OK Felice, I’ll mark you off and you can go find the others up the front.” but she was looking at him.

A guy came past with a pack and two preschoolers “Excuse me mate, can you move in?” Bill turned, stammering something. When he looked again she was still there, but now another girl was with her asking her something. She will cut me dead, he thought.

Bill had met a thousand ex’s in the past. His brain said:  no problem- a suave remark, a bit of banter, then push off. Only he couldn’t do it now.

Rhona came down off the step, disappearing momentarily and re-emerging in front of him. He could feel his fingernails digging into his palms and his signet ring cutting into his finger. She was smiling up at him, her hand on the girl’s sleeve gesturing. He didn’t hear her properly. They had started the engines up. He couldn’t make out what she was saying to him.

 The ferry began to move away from the berth. Rhona and the girl came closer to him. “Bill? Are you well?”

He found himself reaching out– to steady her, but he stopped himself in time.

“Yes I’m fine Rhona … just surprised. I …” He pulled his hand back from mid air.

She turned to the girl beside her. “Gracie, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Bill Egan." 

“Your daughter Gracie?”

“Yes”. She was laughing as the girl shook his hand saying politely “It’s nice to meet you Mr Egan.”

 This girl had the same eyes and her mother’s thick hair, though hers was a chestnut colour, caught back in a clasp. “Mr Egan, er, Bill?” Gracie was pointing at his right fist, “I think you’ve hurt your hand.” She had a tissue out, wiping her palm. He just gazed at a hand which could have belonged to anyone.

“I’ll get the kit out shall I Mum?” the girl asked.

Her mother nodded, laughing and raising an eyebrow at him in that way she had. “She’s been dying to find a patient ever since she packed that kit this morning. You’ll have to submit with good grace.”

She reached out and took his hand in her cold one, examining the cut. He couldn’t resist her. She was inspecting it with a clinical expression and a laugh around her mouth, “Just a plaster Gracie, not the full splint. Excuse me if I leave you with the surgeon Bill. I have some ladies to check up on.” 

“Here we go.” The girl clambered up waving a plaster. “I knew I had a plain one. I didn’t think you’d like the fluoro sort but this should be OK.”

He thanked her and stood holding it until she demanded he put it on. He smiled, relaxing now her mother was gone. “You’d make a brilliant nurse, you’re firm enough.” 

She grinned. “Yeah even Mum says I’m feisty and she’s not exactly meek sometimes.”

He offered to see her back to her team and as they walked through the seating area she spotted her friends outside on the front deck. Bill waved her off with thanks for the medical care before he turned on his heel and went in the opposite direction.

At the Waiheke end Bill was one of the last to disembark. He walked across the carpark, heading for the main road. As he passed he saw Rhona counting girls and packs into the transport and settling everybody down. The driver of the second van leaned out calling to him. Here was a face he knew- a most expressive face which was now broadcasting an appeal for help. “Gidday. I’ve got a job on here. You want a lift?”

“No thanks Casey.” Bill grinned at him, completely devoid of sympathy.

 “Oh go on mate. The boss lady’s only little. Plenty of room. Here she comes now, I’ll ask her.” He leaned even further out his window as Rhona came up to his cab. “So missus. All hunky dory are we?”

That hardly described how she was feeling but Rhona managed to be pleasant. “Yes thank you. Hello again Bill.”

Bill noticed she had a deepening line between her eyebrows. It was the one sign he learnt to read right in their time together. She was exhausted and worried.

Casey was looking from him to Rhona and back again. “Small world. You know each other?”

Rhona didn’t answer, which made for an awkward pause.  Bill made the introductions. She reached up to shake the hand outstretched from the driver’s window.

“Gidday,” Casey said before he told Bill “Well come on then, get in. No bullshit about walking, just hand the lady in and follow after boyo.”

Bill shrugged and made a helpless face at Rhona. He watched her tiny feet clamber in. She was half the size of some of the kids in the back.

It would have been uncomfortable if it hadn’t been for Casey. Bill realised Rhona had no idea what he was doing there, or what connection  he had to Waiheke. Somehow that fact made him feel better. He was more in control than he felt he ought to be in the circumstances.

Casey chatted on as they drove. She was just sitting there looking straight ahead with a strange expression on her face. Bill thought maybe she was miles away. She could do that so easily, just switch off. It wasn’t that though. Her right index finger was flicking over the seam on her jeans leg- over and back, over and back.

Casey tried again. “So I drop you off on the way past Bill or the way back? I’m bringing the little lady back this way later, aren’t I love?” he glanced over at Rhona, who didn’t appear to notice.

“I’ll get off on this run thanks” Bill said, covering her silence. Casey gave Rhona another sharp look but he was turning into the street and pulled up outside Bill’s house. Rhona was still gazing ahead in that frozen sort of way.

Once he was underway again Casey took another look at his passenger. “You all right love? You look a bit peaky. Long trip eh?”

“Yes” it was a whisper. She cleared her throat. “Yes, a long morning so far.”

“Yeah well, hard work all this school trip carry on. Let’s get them dropped off then I can take you to your place. Where are you staying?”

“In that street you just pulled out of, with Grace Fielding”

 “Eh?” Casey missed his gear change. “What? Are you her Rhona? Bloody Hell. I should have recognised you, but you were only a girl last time I was here.” There was a pause “Hey does Bill know that? Cheeky bugger didn’t say anything.”

Rhona thought it was hardly the moment to give her opinion on Bill’s behaviour. She stuck to the facts. “I don’t know.”  There was mostly silence then as Casey drove. Just the occasional “Well” and “Bugger me” under his breath.

After unloading her charges at the camping ground Rhona settled back in the corner of the van, half leaning on the door, trying to get a grip. She was almost asleep when they pulled up outside Grace’s house. Casey parked in the driveway. “Come on then. I’ve got half an hour before the next job. I’ll come in for a bit.” He took her pack off the floor and hopped out. Coming around to her side he opened the door and helped her down. Rhona was vaguely aware that he was not much taller than her, but a good deal more generously covered. He had a commanding manner and he was keeping a firm hand on her elbow. “All right now love- out you come. You know my Lou gets like this when she’s been over doing it. I know all about it, don’t you worry.” He was shepherding her down the pathway with surprising grace. She allowed herself to be led, thinking that just one more surprise would shatter her whole glass edifice to smithereens.

Aunt Grace had come out on to the porch. Casey still had Rhona firmly by the arm, which he now patted gently for emphasis. He called out to Grace “You go easy on this niece of yours. She’s had a rough morning.” Once he was up the pathway he added “ what with twenty odd girls and one thing and another-  Grace we’re both as parched as desert sands. Billy on?” They made the porch and he relinquished Rhona’s arm on the door step.

Rhona really was grateful. She returned her Aunt’s firm hug. Casey was holding back from their reunion, but he was ready to spring forward into the hall behind them.

Grace led the way, “You are in your usual room Rhona. You go on down, we’ll be in the kitchen.”

Rhona moved through the familiar wide passage, touching her aunt’s furniture fondly as she passed. The old villa seemed to envelope her in safety. At the end of the passage she turned left into the last room. Her aunt had painted it in the palest far-away blue. All the wide skirting boards and ceiling trims were white. Rhona loved the way it matched the view of sea and sky from the window.

She dropped her pack and took off her jacket, laying it on the bed. The crisp white sheets with their blue cotton cover looked so inviting, but courtesy demanded she join them in the kitchen. She took off her boots though and was padding back down the hall when she overheard Casey saying “…but get this for a coincidence. They knew each other.” She heard her aunt’s deep voice, a little guarded “Oh yes?”

Rhona leaned against the wall paper in the hall, pressing her cheek to the cool surface. Facing a whole weekend with Bill Egan right on the boundary, she knew this was just the first skirmish of many she would have to negotiate.  Pushing off the wall, she deliberately knocked against a palm in a brass pot near the kitchen door to announce herself. As she expected Grace effortlessly redirected the conversation. By the time she sat down they were talking about the next tree planting working bee.

“Ah Rhona, here we are.” Grace poured the tea from an art deco silver pot into a Shelley teacup, setting cup saucer and plate in front of her.

Rhona smiled her thanks and said to Casey “I didn’t realise you knew Grace so well. I don’t remember seeing you when I was here last.”

“No well you wouldn’t have. Lou and I only just came back about six months ago. About the time your friend moved in next door. We’d been away about twenty-five years all told.”Casey added “and do you know”, he was digging his finger into the tablecloth for emphasis, “do you know Grace was still here in the same house, doing her own thing exactly as we’d left her. Isn’t that marvellous eh? Oh strewth.” He was looking at his watch. “I’d better be on my bike.” He got up from the table, “I’ve got to collect a gent’ from the wharf in exactly 7 minutes. Nice to meet you again love”  He patted Rhona on the arm he made for the door. “Don’t get up. You’ll see me again before you see me out.” Grace followed him out to the step and waited to wave him off before she came gliding back into the kitchen to stand with her straight back into the kitchen bench. It was characteristic of her. All her movements were studied somehow, vaguely theatrical. She told her niece “You look completely shattered. You need rest.”Rhona agreed and let Grace organise her by suggesting a programme. “I’m in the studio. Shall we meet for dinner, say 5.30 drinks? You know where everything is. I’ll leave you to your own devices for the day.”