Flowering Time

thanks to flickr.com for this image

 The Lunar cycle is one of the most important rhythms to my life and I have been looking out at the First Quarter Moon tonight. This is the flowering time when the initiatives we have seeded start to come to fruition. It is often a time of challenges as we take steps to support the vision formed at the new moon. Often we experience a curious tension as we struggle with the 'I can't" response which surfaces when we experiment with a new way of living.

This is certainly so for me at present. I have been working at supporting myself better. The decisions I have had to make to achieve that seem to be having an isolating affect on all areas of my life. No man is an island they say- and I am feeling that isolation keenly.

Now, looking up at the moon, I am wondering if I was correct to seed such self-determination - it may be costing me dearly in lost connection with my current relationships. Maybe that is the point though - to trust the process - knowing that any connections which survive this cycle are the healthy ones. Maybe the relationships that are leaving, or stuttering, are not sustaining my life in any real way. I pray for the trust and persistence to push this bud of new ways out to a radiant, aromatic flower of authentic living.

Drawing from Life continues with  the last part of Chapter 14

Gracie and Rhona were driving back to Auckland on Monday afternoon. As they passed through Whangarei Gracie ordered “Mum, tell me when we get to the Oakley bridge. I want to look out for Joe’s house. He said you can see it from the highway.”

Rhona told her where to find the map and from then on Gracie followed every curve in the road closely until they came around an uphill bend when she yelped “It’s the next bridge. It’s opposite another little road, see if you can stop so I can have a look.”

Rhona wasn’t convinced of the propriety of it, but if Joe was elsewhere she figured there was no harm indulging the girl. She managed to pull out of the traffic and slowed down to park on a wider verge almost directly opposite a two story house set back from the road. Gracie leapt from the car oblivious to her mother’s warning to watch the traffic.

“Look Mum.” Gracie was shrieking. “Look it’s awesome.” Joe had told Gracie his house used to be an old coaching house.  People came up the river or over the hills behind and stopped here before they went on to Whangarei.

Rhona took her camera from the car and leaned on the bonnet to photograph it. It was a beautiful place. She could see the main entrance of the house was on the north side, facing the metal road that ran off State Highway 1. That would be the old road he had told Gracie about she guessed. A massive pear tree towered above the house, dominating the front paddock where half a dozen sheep were grazing. The property seemed to extend in a westerly direction for some distance. Gracie was still shouting and calling out to her, pointing out the stables beside the house and the little jetty by the river beside them.

They had been stopped five minutes or so when there was the blast of a car horn and a navy 4x4 pulled in behind them. Rhona groaned with embarrassment when she recognized the car but Gracie was jumping up and down yelling “Hey it’s Joe. Look Mum. Look it is Joe.”

Rhona watched him leap from his car, all smiles. She could feel her colour rising as she tried to find a way to explain how badly Gracie had wanted to see his home. All she could think was: Oh God this is my most pathetic blunder ever. How could I look this desperate – I never wanted to … oh God.

He had his arm over her daughter’s shoulder, steering her further away from the highway traffic. Of course he had to say “But you’re coming in aren’t you?”

Gracie had started to bounce again. “Can we Mum? Please? Please can we?”

Rhona smiled despite herself and Joe took that as an affirmative. He became all action man, telling her to watch the traffic coming around the bend. He and Gracie leaped in his vehicle leaving Rhona no choice but to follow as soon as she could safely cross the main road.

When she pulled up in his driveway he came out to meet her. Gracie had already disappeared. He opened the driver’s door and handed her out. Walking up to the house Rhona asked how things went at the marae, adding “I thought maybe you would stay on a day or two.” He shrugged but made no answer, his ambivalence discouraging her from further questions.  He took her hand. “Wait on. Gracie wants me to take you in the front door.” They came up on the step. Joe winked at Rhona and knocked.

The door opened from the inside and there was Gracie giggling as she bobbed like a maid.  “Sir. Madam. Come this way please,” making a grand sweep of her arm into the hallway. Rhona laughed and said “Oh good. You have staff.” Playing the game she swept in like a duchess, but she came to an abrupt stop inside the hall.

The broad stair way rising in front of her made a noble sweep to the upper floor landing. Turned kauri balusters and kauri paneling to chair rail height gave the whole space a glow of honey brown. The walls papered in a blue and green William Morris design, with patterned rugs and period furniture, suggested comfort in keeping with the building, but this was no museum piece. It was a Home.

She plopped down on the bare kauri settle which stood near the front door and looked up at Joe who was still standing by the door, watching her. “You love this place don’t you, I can feel it.”

He came over to take her hand and pulled her to her feet. “I have been here a while. We understand each other now. Come on.”

Gracie had disappeared and now she came springing back down the hall way. “Joe can I go exploring please? I want to go and look at the little jetty. Have you got any attics? Can I go in the stables?”

Rhona was shaking her head. “Gracie, please,” but Joe smiled “Sure. Have a look around. Just leave the stables to last. I’ll unlock that later and show you.”

Joe’s kitchen was a large sunny room with a view of the river. A solid fuel cooker stood gleaming black in the fireplace, but there were all manner of mod cons concealed behind the wooden cabinetry. When Rhona asked him if he like to cook he laughed and said he enjoyed friendly food. As he went to the fridge for cheese to go on the packet of crackers he was holding he explained. “You know: people around the table, good conversation, everybody getting in the way- trying to pitch in and help- that kind of food.” He came and sat down at the table with her and started cutting the cheese and arranging the crackers on a plate. “We’d better remember to leave some for the Gannet, she’s always hungry that girl.”

Rhona looked out the window beside her, speculating out loud about where her daughter had got to. Joe told her how his nephews and nieces could amuse themselves for hours around the place. They were only a little older than Gracie. “Let her rip a bit longer eh? It’s been a very grown up weekend.” He passed her a mug and leaned back with his own. “Relax.”

She turned back to him. “You’re relaxed. You’re a different person at home aren’t you?”

He shrugged. “Comfortable I guess. I’m going back up to the marae tomorrow but today I’d had enough. I just wanted to come home for some peace after that weekend we had.”

“Oh”, she frowned. “then you found us on your doorstep. I’m so sorry. I never intended to stop, just…”

He tipped his head back in a frustrated way and interrupted her. “You know that’s not what I meant. I’m glad you’re here.” After a space of silence he put his cup down. “Come on. I want to show you something. He stood up “I have a feeling I know where Gracie might be too.”

He opened the door and waited for her to go out first. There were two big pots with herbs in them either side of the back door and a path leading away from the house. They made slow progress down the path because Rhona kept stopping to admire the planting and asking him how he had decided on what he wanted to grow.

There was an extensive vegetable garden further on, with two huge raised beds on each side, running parallel to the pathway. Beyond them Rhona saw Gracie standing on tip toe with her hands around her eyes and her nose pressed to the quartered window at the end of the stable block. Joe waved to her and started explaining to Rhona that he used the stalls at the far end for storing fruit and vegetables.

“I don’t keep horses here anymore. I’m away too often.” He went past the two wide doors and put his key in the lock of the smaller paneled door near the end. He called “Come on Gracie you can get a look in now,” and pushed the door wider for Rhona, saying more quietly “This used to be the tack room and office. I use it as a workroom now, so mind your clothes. There’s stuff everywhere.”

Gracie had wormed her way between them. “I saw old broken furniture and stuff in here Joe. What do you do with it?”

He pointed out a derelict arm chair with half the deep buttoned upholstery removed from the seat. “I restore them. You didn’t know furniture had horse hairs and springs in it I suppose.”

“Oh yes I did”, Gracie announced triumphantly. “I’ve been to lots of auctions with Mum and she told me all about it. She doesn’t buy ones as rough as that though.” Gracie wrinkled up her nose at the stained covering. “I hope you didn’t pay much for that one. It’s a wreck.”

Joe was looking from Gracie to Rhona and back again. He steered the girl further into the room, dodging the dining chairs hanging from the rafters. “You might like this one better, seeing you’re an expert.” He stopped her in front of a washstand standing resplendent amongst the chaos.

Rhona could see he was proud of his restoration. It was rimu with tiling along the splash-back and two neat cupboards beneath. Gracie was fascinated when Joe showed her where to pull out a sliding shelf from just above the cupboard doors. He stood back to include Rhona and looked a question at her as she ran her fingers around the circular opening for a wash basin.

“You’ve done it beautifully. Where did you find these de Morgan tiles? I’ve only ever seen them in a book before.” She had her other hand on his arm, but she hadn’t noticed that until Gracie tried to squeeze out between them and gently lifted it on her way through. Joe was in the middle of explaining that the tiles had been on the piece when he found it in a mission shop in Whangarei. He stopped speaking as he made way for Gracie and for a moment seemed to forget what else he was going to say.

Gracie apologized and said she was going to get a drink. Rhona was moving towards the door too. It was later in the day than she had realised. “We will need to go soon”, she called but the girl was already running up the path and hadn’t heard her. Joe locked the door behind them.  “Just stay Rhona. It’s after five now and time to get the tea on. Come on.” He led the way back to the house without waiting for her to answer.

Joe had Gracie help him cook some flounder and confined her mother to setting the table. When he waved them off about seven that night Rhona told him she expected to see him the very next time he came to Auckland. He agreed to the bargain and stood on the drive until they were out of sight.